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Self-esteem

For the inner critic that never lets up: low self-worth, perfectionism, people-pleasing, shame and the sense of never being enough.

Schedule an appointmentCall (843) 894-0000

Low self-esteem isn't a diagnosis, but it's one of the most common things people bring to therapy, and it sits underneath a great deal of anxiety, depression, relationship trouble and burnout. It sounds like a running commentary that you're not good enough, that you'll be found out, that other people's needs matter more than yours, or that any mistake proves what you already suspected.

Those beliefs were learned somewhere, often early, and they can be unlearned. Therapy for self-esteem is practical work: catching the critic in the act, testing its claims, practicing a different way of treating yourself, and building a life around what you value instead of what you fear.

What we help with

Self-esteem work often overlaps with a diagnosable condition, such as depression, anxiety or the aftermath of trauma; your clinician will say which applies and treat both together.

Chronic self-criticism and shame
The internal voice that narrates every shortfall. We work on where it came from, what it's trying to protect you from, and how to answer it.
Perfectionism
Standards that can never be met, with anxiety when they aren't and no satisfaction when they are. Linked to burnout, procrastination and depression.
People-pleasing and boundaries
Organizing your life around not disappointing anyone. Learning to say no, tolerate someone's displeasure and ask for what you need.
Self-worth after trauma, abuse or criticism
Growing up with harsh, neglectful or unpredictable caregivers, or surviving an abusive relationship, often leaves a deep sense of being defective. This is addressed alongside trauma work.
Body image and self-acceptance
Self-worth tied to appearance, weight or performance. Related to, and sometimes part of, eating and body-image concerns.
Confidence in teens and young adults
Identity, belonging, social comparison and academic or athletic pressure during the years when self-image is being built.

How we treat it

Cognitive behavioral therapy gives you tools to catch and test self-critical thoughts; compassion-focused and acceptance-based approaches change your relationship with the critic rather than arguing with it; and person-centered and narrative work help you re-author the story you tell about yourself. When low self-worth has roots in trauma, EMDR and trauma-informed care are part of the plan.

When to reach out

  • The critic in your head is louder than anyone else's voice
  • You keep choosing people or situations that confirm you don't matter
  • Perfectionism is costing you sleep, deadlines or peace
  • You can't accept a compliment or ask for help
  • Your teenager has stopped trying because "what's the point"
Schedule an appointmentCall (843) 894-0000

Common questions

Is low self-esteem covered by insurance?

Insurance covers treatment of a diagnosable condition. Low self-esteem usually comes with anxiety, depression, an adjustment disorder or the effects of trauma, which are covered; your clinician will make the appropriate diagnosis after the first visit.

How long does it take to change?

People usually notice the critic sooner and believe it less within a couple of months. Rebuilding a stable sense of worth is longer work, especially when the roots are early, but it is steady and it holds.

Where to get help for self-esteem

Available at every Oceanic® office and through our telehealth team.

Grand Strand

Midlands

  • West Columbia
    121 Executive Center Dr, Suite 102, Columbia, SC 29210
  • Forest Acres
    1800 Saint Julian Place, Suite 401, Columbia, SC 29204
  • Irmo
    7520 Irmo Dr, Columbia, SC 29212

Upstate

  • Greenville
    37 Villa Rd, Suite 508, Greenville, SC 29615
  • Anderson
    132 Broadbent Way, Anderson, SC 29625

Lowcountry

Anywhere in South Carolina

  • Online
    Secure video sessions, statewide

Diagnostic descriptions on this page are summarized in plain language from the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR, 2022). This page is educational. It is not a substitute for evaluation by a licensed clinician, and only a licensed clinician can make a diagnosis.

Ready when you are.

Call us or submit a short intake form. A Patient Account Representative will match you with a therapist, and most new clients have their first appointment within a few business days.

Schedule an appointmentCall (843) 894-0000